These events might include moments like surviving domestic violence, the sudden death of a child, a tragic or unexpected injury, or larger-scale events like surviving the Holocaust or PTSD as a result of serving in a war. ![]() ![]() And if it helps to provide yourself with a visual map for charting your family’s history of trauma, you can literally draw your family tree and make notations of the events that were traumatic for each member of your family. If your grandmother suffered the unexpected death of a child and blamed herself - however unjustly - for the loss, this could be a key to unlocking the source of your own fears. So if, for example, you’re afraid of losing your children or fear that your child might die unexpectedly, one of the first Bridging Questions you should ask is whether someone in your family lost a child. To help you learn more about this process, Wolynn describes four types of disruptions that can occur in a parent-child relationship called the Four Unconscious Themes. And in cases where some form of childhood trauma is involved, unraveling our history with our parents is the most important step to resolving that trauma and moving forward. Whether we love them, hate them, or found solace in caregivers who aren’t related to us by blood, we can’t really escape our parents’ impact on our lives. Because whether we want to admit it or not, no early relationship impacts us like the one we have with our parents. ![]() But the truth is that there’s more to this trope than meets the eye. As a result, we sometimes acquire the impression that all psychiatrists are Freudians, unwilling to believe that anyone has a healthy relationship with their parents or that our trauma could stem from any other source. Books and movies often portray that as the first question asked by psychiatrists and its repetitive frequency often renders the question laughable.
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